


Of Rough Nights and Early Talks

by SmartBlackRose



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Cravings, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Past Drug Addiction, Short, a bit cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5824969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartBlackRose/pseuds/SmartBlackRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid has a bad night. He's not the only one, because he finds Rossi already at the office at four am. Enlightening discussion ensues for them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Rough Nights and Early Talks

Reid woke up with a start and sat up in his bed, his heart pounding loudly in his chest, deafening him. He looked around for a moment, rubbing his eyes and trying to see clear without his lens.

"It was just a dream. Not real", his mind repeated soothingly to him a he got up to make coffee.

He knew he wasn't going to fall asleep again and he sighed in annoyance when he saw the clock showing only three o'clock.

He sat on the couch, taking the first sip of a somewhat comforting coffee cup, his elbows resting on his thighs.

He soon headed to the BAU, feeling unuseful sitting there. It was almost four by then and he stopped, surprised, when he saw lights on in Rossi's office. He hesitated for a second, before deciding to check if the older man was really there or if some janitor had forgotten to close them the night before.

Even more surprisingly, David Rossi really was sitting at his desk reading a book. He looked up when he heard Reid's footsteps and cocked his head, inviting the younger agent to sit down.

"Rough night?", he asked quietly.

"Yeah. It's just stressful times, I suppose.", Spencer replied, shrugging.

Rossi went back to his book with a nod and the doctor played with a paperclip for a while before asking without thinking: 

"Do you ever think how you could have made things differently?"

Rossi's head shot up and he darted his eyes, searching Reid's face, but finding only how shy and nervous the young man was.

"Maybe. Talking about your job choices?", David wondered.

"Not in the way you say it. More like the choices you've made on the field. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." the younger said, looking away.

"No, that's okay. Of course I do think about that sometimes. We all do. Is there a specific choice that you regret?"

Reid bit his lip and thought about it before answering.

"Yes. I mean, we all make mistakes, but... I don't know what got into me when I left JJ in that shed to run after Hankel. It was stupid. However, I don't get why I don't feel bad when I think about Owen or Anthrax. It's the same thing", Reid sighed, leaning back in his seat.

Rossi smiled and shook his head disapprovingly. 

"No it's not. The pain and cruelty that was inflicted to you with Tobias Hankel was different. You were tortured for three days. And there are consequences about it, too. And by that I mean the fact that you had a drug addiction for months after this", the Italian said openly, keeping his voice calm and his eyes levelled with Spencer's

Reid's eyebrows shot up in surprise. David was the first one who had ever said it aloud about knowing about the drugs. He didn't seem to notice Spencer's shock because he went on about it. 

"It was long term consequences. You will struggle with it everyday for the rest of your life and you will always have difficulties to go on the field."

"I don't ha..." Reid started.

"You do. I'm not saying it affects you in doing your job correctly, but you always feel that pinch of fear when you're in the SUV. And it's perfectly normal. It doesn't make you less of a great agent. But Reid, the choices you've made, you can't regret them now'', David said softly, pressing the genius's hand.

The doctor took a deep breath and nodded slightly.

''Yeah. I know. It's just… When I'm stressed… Will I have nightmares for the rest of my life? Craving for the rest of my life?'', he frowned, eyes darting in every corner of the room except to Rossi.

''Probably. I don't believe in psychologist'' Rossi said with half a teasing smile and Reid looked at him quickly, giving a tight smile in return. ''When the anxiety kicks in, bad things always come up. Our body and mind know that there are things that we have done that could… Let's say help us get through it. But I think the important thing is your consciousness knows that it's not the good thing to do. And you know what? You will always have people to go to. Like me. Or Aaron. Or anyone, truly, even if we screwed up with you sometimes before.'' he promised.

''Thanks, Rossi. And you didn't mess with me. Especially you.'' Reid smiled back, even if he looked tired still.

''And why is that?'' Rossi said, surprised.

''Because you say the real things to people. You don't hide the truth just to make us feel better. Like my drug addiction. You were the first and probably the last one to ever mention it aloud.'' Spencer admitted.

''And how does it feels?''

''Hey, are you profiling me?'' Reid frowned shortly. ''But, yeah, it feels really good. Weird, but good. It was like it never existed, you know, like I'm the only one to know that I struggle, sometimes. Everyone avoid it like… plague, actually. But you don't. So thank you about that.''

''You're welcome'' David smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! This is my first fic on here but it is also posted on fanfiction under the same pen name!


End file.
